Life is Hard

Since I last wrote, quite a bit has changed. Life has gotten harder. I've become more and more discouraged. I keep waiting for things to look up, but they haven't. It feels like every time I try to take a step up, I get pushed back down. I'm not unhappy with my entire life. I have a great husband who puts up with me (and that is definitely hard) and I have amazing family on both sides who offer constant support. I'm simply finding situations in life extremely emotionally taxing right now. I have been struggling with my job for several months. I love the girls I work with, but the communication and the administrative side of the facility make it extremely difficult for me to look forward to going in. Not to mention the inadequate staffing leaving me feeling stressed and anxious throughout my shift. Things at work started looking up when I fell into a comfortable routine at work with a coworker. We were awesome together, and had most of the kinks worked out on our shift. Unfortunately for me, she found a much better opportunity that couldn't be passed up, and I was left never knowing who I'd be working with. I contemplated moving to another facility with a slightly better reputation and was hopeful about that, but that didn't work out. Sean lost his job (literally days after we completely drained our savings account to pay tuition) and I needed to pick up the shifts they were offering, something I can't do as easily or as immediately at a different facility. Here I am, stuck in a job that causes me anxiety and having to work more than the bare minimum. It's hard! I feel completely defeated and more than a little discouraged. The whole job thing is only a piece of the puzzle, but I'm not comfortable sharing the other things I'm going through, but they're hard. All things combined, I'm not sure how long I can last. I'm losing my sanity. People keep telling me everything will work out, but I'm not feeling too hopeful right now. I can say that I have a testimony of tithing. Things just work out better when you give that first 10% to the Lord.

 In other news:

•  I am running a 1/2 marathon in a month with my sister. I might will die halfway through.
•  Sean's changed his career path. He now wants to be a High School Teacher (which actually suits him quite well)
• Our hamster died. A tragic occurrence that really doesn't need explanation.