We were finally able to schedule our first fertility test and will hopefully find out the results soon. Step 1.5 and I'm already completely drained. That said, I am extremely grateful for the support I've received. I hope that this is all just a fluke and we won't need any help, but I fear that this is just the first step of a very long road. Long because you have to consider cycles and give treatments time to work, and long because if treatments start to get too expensive, we'll have to take a long break in order to save up. The financial burden is the second most terrifying thing to me. I hate to even consider that finances will impede our progress towards growing our family. It's one thing I can't entirely comprehend. I realize that childrenare expensive, but I'm not mentally or emotionally prepared for the possible financial commitment that could be required to conceive or adopt.
My heart aches for all who are on this journey. You are definitely not alone. I know I'm just at the beginning, and many have been struggling for so much longer than I, but if this is just the beginning, I can't imagine how much more difficult it could get.
In other news, I decided to take the two classes I need in order to apply for my SSW license. I'm hoping that this will help me to move closer to my dream. It's difficult to remember to do my homework. I'm kind of in denial that I'm actually a student again and that if I don't excell in these classes I'll have taken a step in the wrong direction.
With all that's going on, I'm left completely drained. I long for a time when I can just relax and not worry about anything. On the other hand, I'm not quite ready to die ;-).
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