Drop-Kicks and Vacations

It's funny how things change, and just how quickly those changes sometimes happen. I recently saw a post on facebook that said "Sometimes, God closes doors because it's time to move forward. He knows you won't move unless your circumstances force you. Trust Him." Ever since I first moved in with my Grandma right after high school, a decision that was literally made in hours, I have believed this. The things that followed changed my life and set me on a course different than any I imagined for myself. I must be stubborn because I feel like this is frequently how things happen for me. I make a decision, it doesn't work out, I get frustrated and angry, and something better comes up. It generally doesn't take much time before I realize why, at least in part, I had to go in a direction I wasn't planning. I feel like I am drop-kicked into certain situations because I am too proud to figure out how to get there myself. Proof that I am important to my Father in Heaven? I think so.

For several months, Sean and I were looking at apartments and were set on some owned by the same company as the ones we're in now. These particular apartments are bigger and cheaper than the ones in the community we've been living in for a year and a half. It seemed ideal. We decided to move forward and as it came closer to the time that we were required to give our notice, we inquired about more of the specifics. Yes, we should have figured it out sooner, but again, this is me we're talking about. Upon further inquiry, we learned that we didn't have to give notice, and wouldn't be breaking our lease if we were to move into that community. We also learned that, although we were waiting for our lease to be up before moving, that they waived the $65 lease initiation fee (great news, right?). We also learned that they charged a $200 lease transfer fee. Even though our lease was over. In addition, we still had to pay the $400 cleaning deposit. (That part, I understand) So, my question is, and I'll make this rant short, why on earth does it cost more to transfer a lease than it does to draft a new one? The rules would be the same even if we had switched apartments in our current community. To say I was frustrated would be an understatement. I spent the rest of that night upset and angry. I am so done with this whole "lock yourself in one room all night by yourself so your husband can do homework" thing. I'm starting to go insane. Silly me should have trusted that this was the Lord's way of telling me that there was something better for me out there. Of course my proud self didn't. Still, the Lord saw it fit to lead us to another option (one I had been thinking about a lot over the past several months, but didn't think it was even close to a possibility, so I ignored the thoughts.) Two days later, we learned that the option I had been silently considering for months, was really an option! Just inside our budget, and more than we were hoping for. Now here we are, a month later, and I have 2 weeks to finish preparing for the move. I am truly confused at the time the Lord puts in to setting my life up. He has quite literally pulled my undeserving, stubborn, and proud self through.

Was that too deep to say simply that we're moving? Granted, it is less than a mile from where we are now, but:

WE'RE MOVING!!!!

Anyways, We were able to go on what I consider our first real vacation as a married couple last week! It was wonderful to get away from everything I've been stressed about lately. I was able to forget about the necessary day-to-day worries of life, and do what I wanted, when I wanted to, and without feeling guilty that the time wasn't spent planning, packing, or cleaning. I wouldn't recommend Vegas as a vacation to take more than once in 20 years (unless you enjoy walking around drunk, or gambling....) but it was fun to look at all of the planning and thought that went into designing all of the different casinos. There are some fun shops and attractions as well, but none that demand to be visited multiple times. Okay, maybe the fountains at the Bellagio. Those are beautiful! I could watch those every night. Now I'm back to reality.

My reality is filled with complete exhaustion lately, and i can't seem to shake it. And, because I know you're all thinking it: I am 100% positive that I am NOT pregnant and am quite certain that that won't change in the near future. Back to the whole being more tired for longer than I ever remember. I can't figure out how to shake it. I don't want to depend on caffeine to keep me semi-functional! Part of me is hoping that when we're settled in our new place and I see things falling into place again, I'll magically stop being tired. I'm really hoping I'm just over stressed and it's manifesting as physical exhaustion While I'm nervous and constantly worry, I don't feel anxious or frazzled like I usually do when I'm stressed. 

Alright, I'll stop rambling. I know my life is SOOOOO interesting. 

I hope that anyone reading this knows that they are loved. You matter. You are important. You are capable.

P.S. If anyone feels like lugging boxes for a few hours in a couple of weeks, the more help we have, the faster moving will be! :D