How do They do it?

I'm sitting here tonight just kind of freaking out about life. Sean started school again this semester which leaves me home alone all day Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday while he is off at school and work. Add that to the Wednesday and Saturday afternoon/evenings when he is at work and you have one bored under-motivated wife who has a job but only works 8 hours a week (I would welcome more hours. I really would!). I might just go insane!

I do have friends. Friends who are stay-at-home mom's who would welcome my company, but I somehow feel guilty taking time to be with friends while my husband is working so hard. And then there's the distance between us. Something about a 45 minute (give or take depending on traffic) drive that just isn't appealing to me. Even if it would relieve my boredom.

 Job searching is just discouraging. I'm pretty sure I've submitted about 1,000,000 applications and received one response, and of course that one response didn't lead to me even getting an interview. I'm not even sure where to apply anymore. It's really drained my self confidence, to be honest. In my perfect world, I would have already gotten a job that is exactly what I want and I would be payed much more than the job I want would normally paid, and then my poor husband wouldn't have to work full time and go to school full time.

And then there's this constant feeling of inadequacy. Every day I write a list of all the things I need to do, and every day I start with cleaning the kitchen, and every day I go to bed with another mess in the kitchen left for me to clean the next day because I'm somehow too lazy to keep my house in the condition that I want it to be in. I know what you're saying: "Sounds like a personal problem to me," or "Just get off your lazy butt and get it done. Then you have all that free time!" And I'll just quietly nod my head, knowing that you're probably right, but trying to justify my laziness.

So, my question is, how do all these stay-at-home mom's do it? I have a hard time motivating myself to be a practically stay at home wife! Please tell me how my mom found it in her to get out of bed every morning at least an hour before me. Please tell me how she found the motivation to clean the kitchen 1,000 times every day. Tell me how she kept the house in order having seven children to look after. Tell me how she found the motivation to cook dinner every night, and still found time to spend with us. I just don't know how those mom's do it. I'm afraid I'm not that good.